Art of Leting Go

by Jonathan Sayao

A common maxim says “It’s better to love and be hurt than to never have loved at all”. Like most sayings, it is easier said than done. For those who loved and got hurt, letting go is hardest part.

One counselor shared, “People have a difficult time letting go of the past because they are held back by unfinished business. They may regret choices they have made or feel guilty about past actions. As long as guilt and regret are not resolved, it is difficult to move forward.”

A friend who broke up with his boyfriend recently shared the following sentiments – you may have experienced the same too, or are experiencing the same right now, or know of a friend who experiences the same thing as well… talk about the hurts, pour out your heart and learn the art of letting go.

One of the reasons why people become sentimental… it’s because memories are the only things that don’t change… When everything else does… there are things in life that you can’t hold on forever, no matter how much you fight for it. Sometimes destiny isn’t always good, it becomes playful. When you met someone you learned to love; you thought it was destiny that made your paths cross. But what if making your paths cross is just part of the game that the playful destiny created? Making you realize that the person you thought was destined for you wasn’t really meant to stay, but only destined to make you feel loved and leave you when you’re already fallen.

It’s not easy to state a reason when you decide to leave your love. Some might think it’s just an excuse… some may not actually believe…some will blame you… some might even be mad at you. What they don’t see is the fact that it hurts you even more to hurt someone who doesn’t deserve to be hurt. You can never own something that was never yours… so stop gripping on things you expect to last forever.

Nothing lasts forever…forever is a lie… everything is transitory…So while you still have something for yourself, put in mind that it’s just borrowed… so that when it’s gone, it won’t take you eternity just to let go. When your feelings get strong for someone, it’s always wise to stop for a while and give your heart a time to breathe… a time to use your mind to weigh the situation based on reason and not on emotion… because the saddest thing that can happen is when one falls in love while the other wants nothing more than friendship.

Love can sometimes be magic but magic can sometimes be an illusion. There were times we wished were limited to some emotions so that we’ll never have to experience pain, never feel betrayed or disappointed and never get my fragile heart broken… But the same thing means we’ll never know how it feels to love and be loved in return… and the thought of it scares me.

To have a heart that’s whole but numb or a heart that’s broken but real. Someday we’ll all be looking back to those days we learned to love, get hurt, cry and fight. Maybe, when that time comes, we’ll be laughing at our dumb selves… realizing how stupid we were to stand up for things we knew were really meant for us. But I guess learning takes time and mistakes make one’s journey fun… so let’s live, love and take whatever pain it brings… though it’s hard to wait for around for something that I know will not happen, it’s harder to stop when I know it’s everything I’ve always wanted. But you know what? I’m glad. I’m glad that it happened…

WHO AM I

On the amorous plane, you have enough to make the beloved one happy, for you are sensitive, full of gentleness and romantic imagination. But you are also liable to changes of humor, to whims, and above all too dependent on external circumstances, therefore rather disconcerting for those who share your life.

To tell the truth, your comportment will have been conditioned by the kind of relation which you have, or have had, with your family and particularly with your mother. If this relation is or was satisfying, it is easier for you to live a harmonious love life. But if the situation has been otherwise, you may remain someone quite slippery, always on the lookout for the kind of happiness which only exists in your wild imagination.

In order to be happy in love, you must make a clear distinction between, on one hand, your need for tenderness and gentleness, your refusal of conflicts, your fear of violence, and, on the other hand, your excessive tendency to self-pity and dependence.

But if a climate of stability and complicity is not established in your love life, you may become very demanding, very monopolizing toward your mate. You may excel in showing yourself more and more disagreeable because of your gloomy state and long sulks, with the result that your mate may be so discouraged as to seek rupture. If it's possible, you may choose to take some distance by finding pretexts for traveling, without putting an end to your union. A rupture is always for you an ordeal, even a wound, and can prove extremely hard to endure when the separation is imposed on you by your mate.

Single life hardly pleases you. Indeed, with your vital need for emotional security and with all your reserves of love and tenderness that you only ask to give out, you feel extremely unfortunate when you are lonely. You then tend to shrink within yourself and to lock yourself up in your melancholia.